I do like writing and reading poetry in English and have had some interesting experiences in Japanese school where I had to memorize poetry (雨ニモマケズ being one of them) during my childhood so I found the translation & process for Ame ni mo makezu especially interesting. I found myself a little apprehensive about translating poetry because it's so difficult and it really doesn't sound the same. But I did enjoy the translation by Pulvers, partly because Ame ni mo makezu is a difficult piece. While the content itself is rather simple, the structure of the sentences is definitely difficult for Japanese and English. Like Professor Elliot mentioned in class, having the verb at the front sort of gives away the surprise that comes with having the verb at the end like in Japanese. I found myself thinking the same when looking at 雨ニモマケズ as Strong in the rain. It's a good translation, I think, because it conveys the willpower and positivity of the line, but it also gives away the surprise. I found it sort of disappointing, but I also understand that there isn't much that can be done about it simply due to grammar structure.
For Beichman reading, I found myself a little put off at seeing some of the translations, even though I acknowledge that some lines are really inevitable. One particular part that bothered me was seeing the shape of a poem being changed. While I don't really emphasize shape and white space usage as much as some more visual poets, I do think keeping the shape and white space is important in poetry. As an example, I really loved the translation of 我歌 / My song because the translation maintains the shape of the poem and really beautifully balances meaning and image. On the other hand, the translation for Sotoba Kamachi bothered me because of the rather streamline fashion of the original and the fact that the translation had such line length differences and the creation of new stanzas. I'm being sort of nitpicky admittedly, but it's not something I really enjoy seeing. Of course, I have absolutely no confidence that I'd be able to translate better by any means, but I do think the shape of the poem should be taken into consideration when translating poetry, not just the meaning, tone, flow and mood. I think these factors further bring to light why poetry translation is so difficult, though not impossible.
No comments:
Post a Comment